I had intended my novel “Goddess Game” to be released earlier this year in the fall, but I later recommitted to having it written by the end of the year. I had never assigned it a particular date up until that moment and, afterwards, getting it done became a little more real.
“Goddess Game” is a little different than my previous books in that it is written for middle-aged women – not teens or middle-graders. The idea for it got a hold on me and I really wanted to write it. I think the story is relatable and fun.
Thus, I declare my foray into chic lit! We’ll see how it goes.
Fiction Reflects Life (Or Is It the Other Way Around?)
It is interesting how often the things I am writing stories about have relevance in my life. When I was writing “Sentenced,” I felt like I was making decisions in my life that were showing up as either ticket games or talent games (i.e. money-oriented or soul-oriented if you haven’t read the story).
Now, I’m working on “Goddess Game” and seeing my own life reflected in much of what the main character, Bethany, is going through and learning. This development in my writing experience makes me a little wary of some of my upcoming book ideas. 😆
The Core Message of Goddess Game
The main theme of “Goddess Game” is that avoiding struggle may seem safe, but it leads to a life that doesn’t feel as satisfying as a life where you played fully and accepted losses and gains as both being wins. Loss is merely a lesson and that is a win because you gained knowledge and can use it going forward.
One of my favorite quotes is the last paragraph from “The Hero with a Thousand Faces” by Joseph Campbell:
“The modern hero, the modern individual who dares to heed the call and seek the mansion of that presence with whom it is our whole destiny to be atoned, cannot, indeed must not, wait for his community to cast off its slough of pride, fear, rationalized avarice, and sacrificed misunderstanding. ‘Live,’ Nietzsche says, ‘as though the day were here.’ It is not society that is to guide and save the creative hero, but precisely the reverse. And so every one of us shares the supreme ordeal – carries the cross of the redeemer – not in the bright moments of his tribe’s great victories, but in the silences of his personal despair.”
In my own life journey, I feel like I have tried to play it safe. Even with all the effort I have put in since April to create the foundation for my ideal life, I find that I hesitate in some areas that are important in truly making it all work.
Recently, I had the realization that maybe I don’t have to figure it all out myself. Perhaps it is time to partner with someone that actually knows what I would have to figure out by a lot of trial and error. So, I got that ball to rolling and everything was going really well until this past Saturday.
Cue My Dark Night of the Soul
I was sitting in the bed reading (part of my night routine) and I had this weird terror come across me. Was I taking too big of a step too soon? Should I somehow be more prepared? It was weird because even earlier that day I was confident that I would be able to meet my goals with no problem – just a little bit more focus and effort.
I was anxious enough that I decided to talk it out with my husband. I sort of hoped he would agree with me and then the pressure would be off. What happened instead was he looked at me and before I could even finish, he said. “No, you need to do this now.”
I was like, “Uh…you think so?”
And then he basically reminded me that I’ve put in the work, I’ve done my research, that I’ve reached a point in my journey where it makes sense to bring on others to help move me forward.
And then I realized what had happened and I smiled.
“Guess I’m having my dark night of the soul,” I said.
The Real Inner Villain
Really, I’ve done enough work that I did know that my inner villain was trying to win on this one. And sort of was winning. I recognized the fear as an indicator that I was about to step out of my comfort zone. That can lead to good things or not so good things and I was letting it get a grip on my mind.
Thankfully, I’m on this life journey with a pretty amazing partner.
So, am I still anxious? Yep.
Am I still going forward with my plans? Yep-yep.
Whether I win or lose, something new is available on the other side, and I’m ready to find out what it is.