This past weekend I received the transmission of Shambhavi Mahamudra Kriya through Sadhguru and The Isha Institute. I’m not sure what I was expecting to get from it. Perhaps I hoped to be more focused or clear of mind. What I got that surprised me is a sense of peace and the feel of time slowing down around me.
When we are present in each moment, there is joy in being alive and the possibility that creates.
I find it amusing that as I take on stories to write that I begin to see similar lessons or challenges in my own life. My characters and I work through our issues in tandem. It’s the same with Goddess Game. Bethany, the main character, has taken the safe path her entire life. She’s not particularly unhappy, but bored and wishing her life was more. Of course, to make that leap, she has to do the internal work she has been avoiding.
In that respect, Bethany and I are different. I haven’t avoided the internal work. I was just making it so much harder than it needed to be.
I mentioned in a previous post (Evolving Backwards) that in 2012, I transitioned from freelancing to a job that provided a steady paycheck. This allowed me to take control of my life in a way that I hadn’t experienced before. The last time I had been single and working was when I was in college. Now I was single and, other than work, my time was my own. It was quite wonderful. I love learning new things and began qigong and reading more.
When I left South Carolina in 2009, I was a raw foodist. I stopped that lifestyle as it was a lot of work for me at the time and I had lost a great deal of muscle mass. While my mental clarity was amazing, I didn’t feel balanced and so began consuming cooked food again. In 2012, I decided to explore the idea of some sort of fusion between a cooked diet and a raw food diet. Perhaps I could find a middle ground that supported my mental awareness and my need to feel like I could carry my groceries. 😊
Delving back into the raw food world of things, I found out that there was going to be a raw food retreat in Arizona on my birthday in October. In my newfound freedom, I decided that I wanted to go.
A Birthday Trip to the Middle of Nowhere
Did it matter that I didn’t know anyone there? Did it matter that this was essentially a camping trip and I would have to take all my gear with me on the plane ride? Did it matter that I had only flown once before and that I had been with someone who had flown often to guide me along the way?
Nope. I was ready for adventure!
I purchased my ticket to the event. I then bought a small tent, a rucksack, and made my checklist for supplies. I managed to pack everything I needed into the rucksack. When the weekend came, I had a friend drop me off at the airport and I was on my way. I made it to Arizona and met up with others on the way to the event. We all boarded a van to be bussed out to the middle of nowhere. We got there, I put up my tent, and had a great time being by myself while being with others.
A couple of things about the event: It was hosted at a hot springs – bathing suits were optional. Outside of soaking, there were vendors and speakers. The two speakers were David Wolfe and David Wilcock. I hadn’t come across David Wilcock before the event, but I was definitely interested in the types of topics he covered.
One of the things that came up over the weekend was past life regression. I don’t remember how it came up, but it reminded me that it was something I wanted to explore. After the event, I came home and found a local hypnotherapist that also offered past life regressions. I admit I was a little skeptical about what might happen during the regression. I was also worried that it might not work on me.
The Doorway to Something… Very Blue
If I remember correctly, the process took a couple of hours. I do remember when the hypnotherapist guided me back to my most current birth. I didn’t see anything. Again, I was worried that it wasn’t working, but then it occurred to me that my most current birth had been pretty traumatic for me and my mom and that I probably was blocking that out. I mentioned that and we moved on. Part of the process was the hypnotherapist leading me down a hallway with multiple doors and I chose one to enter. This doorway would take me to a past life that was relevant to me in my current life.
A funny thing… My hypnotherapist was recording the regression so that he could send it to me afterwards and I would have it to listen to again if I ever wanted to. What I found out later was that when he went to prepare the recording to send to me, he found that the recording had shut off. When he called to tell me, he said it a little eerie because it stopped the moment I opened the door in this process. He didn’t have a back-up recorder going so all I have to go on are my “memories” of what I saw and the notes that he was taking that he typed up and sent to me.
Now what did I see when I went through that door?
It still amuses me. I don’t know what I was expecting, but when I went through the door, he had me look down at my feet and describe what I saw. I remember hesitating and almost laughing.
“That’s not human,” I finally said.
The feet I was looking down at appeared birdlike. They didn’t look like skinny chicken feet or anything, it was more like two thick toes and a back-claw. Weird, huh?
The hypnotherapist took me through different parts of this bird-person’s life.
Her name was Ahna. In the first scene, Ahna was wearing something like a flowing dress made of layers of light fabric and had a hat that resembled what you see on the bust of Nefertiti, but much, much bigger. She was blue and thin. Her face was flattish where her nose holes were and her eyes were larger than they would have been on a human face. Other than that, she appeared to have a body similarly-shaped to a human. I don’t remember anything particular about the hands. In the second scene, though, she was not wearing the dress or the hat and I could see what the hat had been covering, which was a shock of blue feathers that grew upwards and back sort of like a Native American headdress.
Over the years, I have tried to sketch out what she looked like and I have never been particularly happy about what I created.
From Regression to Resurrection (of a Character)
I had a need for a special character in my recent book, “Sentenced”, and Ahna seemed like a good fit. I decided to give drawing her one more go, but in a style that would mirror the playful and unusual nature of the book. This is what I came up with:
She’s cool.
(For those of you wondering if I wore a bathing suit or not in the hot springs…stop being nosy! 😄)
I just published “Sentenced” and I’m already fleshing out my outline for “Goddess Game” so I can begin drafting it over the next few weeks. After “Goddess Game,” I have several more books lined up in the creative pipeline. Many of these book ideas I have had for years. I’ve done a lot of work in the past freewriting about them and creating outlines.
Why am I only finishing them now? What has changed?
The Fog Before the Flow
I spent a good part of 2023 (and probably 2022, if I’m being honest) feeling that while I had gotten myself in a job situation that felt secure and where I had a certain amount of autonomy, it also kept me a bit stressed. I did not have a consistent schedule and it was difficult for me to try to do the things that I wanted to do in my personal time because I felt like I had to decompress from the job and then figure out what I needed to do towards my creative aspirations. My mind was in a fog most of the time and I realized that something needed to change if I was going to make any headway in my life goals.
Getting Help, Finally
I was constantly looking at people who were doing something similar to what I wanted to do and people who were doing what they wanted to do in general – the types of careers that seemed to be true self-expression. I kept seeing over and over that many successful people had mentors or coaches to help them along the way. I talked it over with my husband and decided that I was committed to completing my books and to that end I would find a writing coach.
When I first started looking for a writing coach, I kept coming across people who wanted to help with editing or actual writing. That didn’t feel right to me. That is not what I felt I needed help with. I wanted to find someone who had already been down the path I wanted to go on so that they could help me stay on that path and actually get projects completed. I intuitively knew that there was something I couldn’t see about myself that was in the way and I needed someone to help me see it.
The Write On Purpose Shift
Back in 2019, I had participated in an experimental writing group organized by W. Bradford Swift. I remember writing a bit, but not getting much done in the short time I was a part of the group. However, as I was looking for a writing coach, it popped into my mind that W. Bradford Swift had mentioned something about being a writing coach. I went to his website and saw that was still the case and immediately requested an initial consult.
After speaking with W. Bradford Swift, I felt strongly that this was the route to go. Not only had he published over 30 books, but he had over 30 years’ experience being a life coach. The fact that he had merged those life coach skills into a Write On Purpose program seemed like a great fit.
My Write on Purpose journey began in November 2023. I published “The Resurrection Incident” by the end of December 2023. “Sentenced” only took as long as it did because of a lot of life changes in early 2024, including my husband and I moving to another state in April.
So, What Changed?
So, what has the Write on Purpose process changed within me that has me moving and shaking (and typing)? It has helped me uncover the purpose behind my writing and is helping me stay present to it. It has helped me uncover indicators of when I am on track and when I might be heading off into distraction-ville.
And, I know this process is working because I’m still writing and completing projects. It’s a great feeling. I have so, so many more to go.
