Writing directly on my website again feels surprisingly natural.
Since February 2024, my weekly updates have lived on Substack. While I’ve appreciated many things about that platform, I realized I was giving up something valuable—search engine visibility for my own site. Substack was great for connection, but not so great for long-term discoverability.
Lately, I’ve been reflecting on how creatively spread out I’ve felt. Between moving back home, shifting career rhythms, and trying new creative forms, it’s been a bit of a big bang—my artistic energy exploded in all directions.
But now? It’s time to bring everything back into orbit.
A Digital Homecoming
A couple of weeks ago, I consolidated my websites into one cozy creative home. (If you’re reading this—welcome! Feel free to explore.) I had some tech hiccups, but overall, I’m happy with the result. Seeing my writing, visual art, and products all living side by side feels…right.
Once that happened, Substack began to feel like an outlier. It no longer made sense to write about my creative process somewhere else when I now have a site that actually shows what I’ve been making.
So here I am. Home at last.
Plot Twists and Soap Suds
Funny enough, I didn’t intend to make progress on my next book this past weekend. But by Friday, I’d already hit my project goals for the week. Rather than dive into more screen time, I decided to get crafty and give my brain a break.
So, I made soap.
I’ve been making cold-process soap for nearly 20 years, but I wanted to try something new—hot-process soap. To my surprise, it was easier than expected, and the bars seem totally normal. I’ll know for sure in four weeks, once they’ve cured. (Soap patience is a thing.)
That small act of creative play unlocked something in me. A plot twist I’d been circling suddenly clicked into place. I was too excited not to sit down and hammer out the rest of the outline for The AI Anomaly—the sequel to The Resurrection Incident.
I’d originally planned to wait until winter to start drafting, in keeping with my seasonal creative flow idea. But… since I’ve already promised a 2025 release, I may need to shift my plan forward.
No official release date yet—I’m going to wait until I have a solid draft. I want to keep things joyful, not pressured.
I’m finally back to developing my next book, The AI Anomaly. Hoorah!
I love the process of growing a story. The AI Anomaly is sprawling a little wildly in my mind and freewriting right now. It’s fun. It also needs a more defined focus.
Picking Up Where The Resurrection Incident Left Off
If you don’t know, The AI Anomaly is the sequel to The Resurrection Incident. In this next storyline, some of the Earthers head back to Earth to assess what is left and how they want to rebuild. One thing they find is an artificial intelligence created by the former generations of Earth humans, but it has had over 300 years to develop itself outside the confines of what humanity had established for it in the past.
I sort of want to just sit quietly somewhere and imagine all the possibilities. But, more than that, I want to get the story out into the world.
My Feelings on AI Villain Tropes (Hot Take Incoming)
I was working out the theme today because, for me, that is foundational to how the story will continue to grow. After my morning freewriting, I see it is shaping up to be something around our creations being extensions of ourselves and also allowing and encouraging independent thinking.
This past weekend, my husband and I watched the movie Atlas. This may be an unpopular stance, but I’m a bit done with storylines about AI only wanting to destroy humans because we are like a virus and are destroying the Earth.
I found the Terminator movies thought-provoking when they came out. I also feel like the fact that we’ve envisioned that possible future through the movie, we learned something. And, in that learning, maybe our relationship with AI has changed in a way that it would not go in that direction.
Building a Better Future (One Word at a Time)
Obviously, I don’t disagree that humans have done not great things to the Earth and we continue to do not great things. I also have an unwavering faith that as we each wake up to our innate potential, that there is no challenge we cannot overcome creatively and we will naturally shift to a more balanced existence.
This morning I had the thought to start off with a little piano practice. I hadn’t thought about actively practicing in quite some time. I am fortunate, however, to have a full keyboard that I could hop over to and bang out some drills. This truly may be the new way I start my day.
My Musical Origin Story
My mom has a piano that was passed down from her father. I remember playing with it as a child and making some (probably) discordant note combinations. My mom had a collection of sheet music but I didn’t know how to read it at that time.
When I was in fourth grade my mom decided to pay for my older sister Marie to have piano lessons. I really, really, really wanted to take lessons, too, but my mom couldn’t afford to pay for both of us. She thought that if Marie learned, then she could teach me.
I was heartbroken that I would have to wait to learn but had to accept it. Not for terribly long, though. When my mom dropped Marie off for her lesson, I got to go, too. She had worked out something with the teacher for both of us to have lessons.
The Gift of a Great Teacher
Our piano teacher was an incredibly talented and patient college student who later became Miss South Carolina. I am grateful that I got to learn from her, but I wish I had had longer. When she stopped teaching (I think I was in ninth or tenth grade), she was just starting to guide us in writing our own music. I still have my manuscript notebook and some compositions and melodies I created.
Anyway, I loved playing the piano. I still love it, but the intensity was much more extreme when I was a kid and learning. I especially enjoyed playing fast songs and I essentially took over the piano. Marie learned as well, but I was on the piano daily.
I broke my left wrist in the sixth grade. Even with a cast limiting my wrist movement, I worked my way through the pain so that I could play. When I had the cast removed, I didn’t need therapy for that hand. I had already strengthened it back to normal.
Music as a Lifelong Thread
I once thought I might go to college for music. That changed somewhere in high school when I realized that I might like writing even more than piano.
I have played piano off and on over the years. I have performed for weddings, funerals, school events, church, etc. My first year of college, I played keyboard in the pit for our production of “Godspell.” Fun times.
When I moved out of my mom’s home in 1997, I found that I missed having a piano handy. I purchased my Roland ep-85 digital piano that year and started my own sheet music collection. I still have an anthology of alternative rock from that time. It’s awesome.
The Music Came With Me
When I left South Carolina in my early thirties, selling my belongings and only keeping what I could cram in my Honda Fit, my keyboard was something that I held onto. I could take apart the stand and I bought a case for it. I’ve had it all these years, diving back into playing at different times in my life.
A Return to Keys (of All Kinds)
Today seems to be the start of another cycle of getting back into it. Instead of starting the day at my computer keyboard, I made my way over to the piano, played through some drills, and then some songs I like. It was a lovely break in routine and a reminder of how much I still love music.
May we all continue to be called by our past, present, and future creative loves. 😊
Well, eek! I missed my Tuesday posting this week. I thought I had something scheduled to post and I did not. It works out well, however, as I had a little adventure on Monday to share.
The Invitation
I received an email in August from Isha Foundation, letting me know that Sadhguru would be at the Isha Institute of Inner-sciences in Tennessee on September 23, 2024. I was immediately excited because Tennessee isn’t terribly far and having an opportunity to see Sadhguru in person seemed like a special treat that I might not have access to very often. The email stated that they would send out information about registering when details were available.
I began thinking about going and how to make it work. I spoke to my husband and he thought it would be cool for me to go. We looked at the distance and how long it would take to get to the Isha Institute in TN.
I had two routes.
One was an 8-hour drive that took me through Atlanta, GA. That wasn’t very appealing. (If you have ever driven in Atlanta traffic, you understand why.)
The other route took me through NC—which just so happened to take me through Maggie Valley, where my sisters and I co-own a camper we inherited from our grandmother.
The route through NC would take nearly 8 hours as well, but I could easily break it in half by leaving the day before, resting overnight at the camper, and then leaving early the next morning. This not only seemed doable, but ideal. So, I just had to wait for registration to open.
In the meantime, I watched a vlog to get a feel for what to expect when I got there. It all looked awesome. The certainty of going was forming, but I was also busy with projects and attempting to meet my deadlines and such.
Doubt Creeps In
When I received the registration email, I began to question whether I had time to make the trip.
Was it really necessary to see Sadhguru in person? My husband and I would have to figure out dog care. I would be going by myself and I have a history of falling asleep at the wheel if I am too tired – and I might get to that point since the event would last until 8 PM CST and I would still have to drive the 4 hours back to the camper. On and on, the reasons came to make me question myself. I was really close to not going.
I talked to my husband about it and my concerns. He reminded me how excited I had been when I learned about the opportunity. We talked through various possibilities, including me flying out instead of driving, but that just seemed like an over-complication of things.
Thankfully, I eventually realized that the life I am creating for myself had the freedom to do things like go see Sadhguru.
I registered, paid for two meals to eat there since I would be spending the entire day at the event. Everything else fell into place. My mom would come over to take care of Ridley (her grand-pupper) in the afternoon.
I felt very relaxed and calm Sunday before I left around 3 PM. The drive to Maggie Valley, NC, was smooth. I listened to an awesome podcast all the way there and enjoyed the feel of freedom and possibility that was unfolding around me. Breaking out of my routine felt like it was opening me up.
Ideas were flowing and I was getting excited about getting back to work after the event and putting these ideas into practice.
Arriving at Isha: A Day of Stillness and Surprise
Monday morning I woke up at 4 AM, completed my Shambhavi Mahamudra, showered, ate a light snack for breakfast, tanked up the car, and drove the 4 hours to McMinnville, TN.
My Day at Isha Institute of Inner-sciences:
Entering the Abode
I entered the Abode and sat on an available cushion and meditated with the others there. You could come and go as you wished. The Abode was filled with light incense and rhythmic chanting/singing. As I sat there, cross-legged and eyes closed, I wondered if I really belonged there. I had the thought that everyone around me was probably more in tune with themselves and better meditators. I let that idea go and just committed myself to staying there and enjoying the experience. When I finally left, I felt a stillness that I hadn’t noticed when I was sitting but became apparent when I was back in a crowd of people.
Silent Brunch
When I left the Abode, it was time for brunch, the first meal that I had purchased for the day. They had sliced cucumbers, a delicious soup, an apple, and some sort of thick pudding that was sweet and spicy at the same time. The meal was eaten in silence. I loved it.
Bluff Views and Cozy Conversations
I had a lot of time before any other events were happening, so I went for a walk to the bluffs. It was a decent incline to get to the top, but not too bad. I did have on a light long-sleeved shirt, though, and I began to feel quite warm. When I came down from the bluffs (it was a very pretty view), I found a spot to sit in the shade.
I took out a notebook and pen I had brought and made some notes about ideas I had and plans to implement. I didn’t do this for very long, though, because I felt drawn to just be present where I was and not get pulled back into my normal thinking. I had a wonderful conversation with someone who sat near me.
We talked for quite a while about a variety of inner-beingness topics. I feel terrible that I talked to her for so long and did not even get her name. I was quite inspired by her joyous nature and what she shared with me of her journey.
The Wait for Sadhguru
I decided to leave the safety of the shade to claim a spot in the garden where Sadhguru would be speaking from 6PM-8PM. It was still only 3:30PM at that time and I was tired, so I spent this time in a mix of resting and chatting occasionally with the people around me.
Darshan: A Presence Felt
When Sadhguru showed up, the change in the energy of the crowd was palpable.
Truly, I was almost more transfixed on what was going on with them than on his arrival – which I had to watch on a screen because we were sitting on a grassy hill and the people in front of me were standing and he wasn’t visible to me otherwise.
Several people began crying.
As everything settled, we all sat in silence for a while before he spoke. We were then inspired by the words of Sadhguru for 2.5 hours and, afterwards, he walked around the crowd with palms together as if blessing us all – adding in an occasional dance.
Boiling the experience down to that sentence seems such a disservice, yet how to really capture it even with many, many words?
What I Came Away With
Something that came up in the conversation I had while sitting in the shade was that there are several people in India that have achieved Enlightenment. However, most of them don’t try to share that with the world – their focus is on their own journey. And that’s fine. What is remarkable about Sadhguru is not only has he shared that possibility with us all, but the extent of it is incredible.
What is being created in McMinnville, TN, is a conscious city. He has already created something similar in India. The intent is that the people there are actively working at living a full-fledge life – something that should probably be natural to us, but we are mired in distraction and illusion.
One of the things Sadhguru said was that it is important for people, especially the next generation, to know that this sort of place exists and is possible. I am grateful that the foundation he has created is doing this work. There is a different feel to a place when the people around you are engaging in their own inner work. I certainly experienced it during my day at the Institute of Inner-sciences.
It’s not perfect, but in that reaching for who we truly are there is less space to get entangled in what we are not.
This past weekend I received the transmission of Shambhavi Mahamudra Kriya through Sadhguru and The Isha Institute. I’m not sure what I was expecting to get from it. Perhaps I hoped to be more focused or clear of mind. What I got that surprised me is a sense of peace and the feel of time slowing down around me.
When we are present in each moment, there is joy in being alive and the possibility that creates.
I find it amusing that as I take on stories to write that I begin to see similar lessons or challenges in my own life. My characters and I work through our issues in tandem. It’s the same with Goddess Game. Bethany, the main character, has taken the safe path her entire life. She’s not particularly unhappy, but bored and wishing her life was more. Of course, to make that leap, she has to do the internal work she has been avoiding.
In that respect, Bethany and I are different. I haven’t avoided the internal work. I was just making it so much harder than it needed to be.
I mentioned in a previous post (Evolving Backwards) that in 2012, I transitioned from freelancing to a job that provided a steady paycheck. This allowed me to take control of my life in a way that I hadn’t experienced before. The last time I had been single and working was when I was in college. Now I was single and, other than work, my time was my own. It was quite wonderful. I love learning new things and began qigong and reading more.
When I left South Carolina in 2009, I was a raw foodist. I stopped that lifestyle as it was a lot of work for me at the time and I had lost a great deal of muscle mass. While my mental clarity was amazing, I didn’t feel balanced and so began consuming cooked food again. In 2012, I decided to explore the idea of some sort of fusion between a cooked diet and a raw food diet. Perhaps I could find a middle ground that supported my mental awareness and my need to feel like I could carry my groceries. 😊
Delving back into the raw food world of things, I found out that there was going to be a raw food retreat in Arizona on my birthday in October. In my newfound freedom, I decided that I wanted to go.
A Birthday Trip to the Middle of Nowhere
Did it matter that I didn’t know anyone there? Did it matter that this was essentially a camping trip and I would have to take all my gear with me on the plane ride? Did it matter that I had only flown once before and that I had been with someone who had flown often to guide me along the way?
Nope. I was ready for adventure!
I purchased my ticket to the event. I then bought a small tent, a rucksack, and made my checklist for supplies. I managed to pack everything I needed into the rucksack. When the weekend came, I had a friend drop me off at the airport and I was on my way. I made it to Arizona and met up with others on the way to the event. We all boarded a van to be bussed out to the middle of nowhere. We got there, I put up my tent, and had a great time being by myself while being with others.
A couple of things about the event: It was hosted at a hot springs – bathing suits were optional. Outside of soaking, there were vendors and speakers. The two speakers were David Wolfe and David Wilcock. I hadn’t come across David Wilcock before the event, but I was definitely interested in the types of topics he covered.
One of the things that came up over the weekend was past life regression. I don’t remember how it came up, but it reminded me that it was something I wanted to explore. After the event, I came home and found a local hypnotherapist that also offered past life regressions. I admit I was a little skeptical about what might happen during the regression. I was also worried that it might not work on me.
The Doorway to Something… Very Blue
If I remember correctly, the process took a couple of hours. I do remember when the hypnotherapist guided me back to my most current birth. I didn’t see anything. Again, I was worried that it wasn’t working, but then it occurred to me that my most current birth had been pretty traumatic for me and my mom and that I probably was blocking that out. I mentioned that and we moved on. Part of the process was the hypnotherapist leading me down a hallway with multiple doors and I chose one to enter. This doorway would take me to a past life that was relevant to me in my current life.
A funny thing… My hypnotherapist was recording the regression so that he could send it to me afterwards and I would have it to listen to again if I ever wanted to. What I found out later was that when he went to prepare the recording to send to me, he found that the recording had shut off. When he called to tell me, he said it a little eerie because it stopped the moment I opened the door in this process. He didn’t have a back-up recorder going so all I have to go on are my “memories” of what I saw and the notes that he was taking that he typed up and sent to me.
Now what did I see when I went through that door?
It still amuses me. I don’t know what I was expecting, but when I went through the door, he had me look down at my feet and describe what I saw. I remember hesitating and almost laughing.
“That’s not human,” I finally said.
The feet I was looking down at appeared birdlike. They didn’t look like skinny chicken feet or anything, it was more like two thick toes and a back-claw. Weird, huh?
The hypnotherapist took me through different parts of this bird-person’s life.
Her name was Ahna. In the first scene, Ahna was wearing something like a flowing dress made of layers of light fabric and had a hat that resembled what you see on the bust of Nefertiti, but much, much bigger. She was blue and thin. Her face was flattish where her nose holes were and her eyes were larger than they would have been on a human face. Other than that, she appeared to have a body similarly-shaped to a human. I don’t remember anything particular about the hands. In the second scene, though, she was not wearing the dress or the hat and I could see what the hat had been covering, which was a shock of blue feathers that grew upwards and back sort of like a Native American headdress.
Over the years, I have tried to sketch out what she looked like and I have never been particularly happy about what I created.
From Regression to Resurrection (of a Character)
I had a need for a special character in my recent book, “Sentenced”, and Ahna seemed like a good fit. I decided to give drawing her one more go, but in a style that would mirror the playful and unusual nature of the book. This is what I came up with:
She’s cool.
(For those of you wondering if I wore a bathing suit or not in the hot springs…stop being nosy! 😄)
