For 2023 and 2024, I was finishing up writing a book at the end of the year. For 2023, the book was “The Resurrection Incident.” This year, I completed “Goddess Game.” It’s kinda cool that I have done that two years in a row, but I’m thinking I would prefer to use the last quarter of the year in future to outline and plan book projects for the upcoming year and maybe focus on direct sales. Might be a sweet experiment for next year!
Year-End Reflections & Routines
I know it’s cliché, but I do enjoy a fine rumination at the end of the year, reflecting on what worked and didn’t and making those glorious plans for the future. It’s a little dangerous and I can easily stay in the thrill of imagining all the things and forget to shift into the necessary doing.
I’ve learned a lot in 2024 about how I create, how to organize my time to get projects done, and the habits I can continue to tweak to help me achieve my goals consistently and with more energy to carry over to the next project.
2025: Superpowers Activated
For 2025, I feel like I am going into the new year with superpowers activated. I still have much to learn (and won’t I always?), but I have a confidence that I have not experienced before.
I’m focused on making life better and better and expressing that in the various ways that I enjoy: writing, drawing, crafting, music
It seems like in the past I didn’t think I could dare allow myself to feel capable if I wasn’t perfect at something. Now I know life is always an ongoing journey and I will get better at whatever I focus on. And that’s the same for all of us, which is so very cool.
In January, I’ll be releasing my fifth fiction book. I’m pretty proud of that. Typing it out is a bit surreal because there was a point where I wondered if I really could write book after book after book – which is sort of what you have to do if want to establish a career as a writer (this is still a work in progress, by the way).
The “Goddess Game” Season
I have been editing my upcoming novel, Goddess Game, for the past month. It has been a lot more work than I was expecting. Some threads in the story began to change, one disappeared. Some character personalities became a little more defined. More ideas popped up to include that I am trying to resist, but they may prove to be irresistible.
In short, I don’t feel like it is finished quite yet and I have a decent amount of work that I want to do on it.
But here’s the thing: I am not worried about it in the least because…
This is my fifth book, y’all! This is how it works for me.
I have uncovered my method, how I work, how the story rolls out.
The Process Reveals Itself
Each time I got to this point on my previous books, I had a moment where I wondered if I was going to be able to really get it all ready. And, every time, when I sat down to get it done, the words showed up, the stories grew into what they needed to be.
That’s where I am with Goddess Game. The story is in a final tweaking stage. I keep going through it chapter by chapter and it feels like it is becoming more of what it should be with each pass. In the next couple of passes, it should just need some beta reading for feedback. And proofreading, of course.
My Writing Method
I’m not a “pantser” when it comes to writing (tried it and it doesn’t work great for me).
I have an idea, I develop a theme and characters from that, and then I start outlining. It is a much longer process than that one sentence hints at, but having a system to get me that far helps me feel confident when I start writing.
And once I have that framework built up enough, the surprise ideas that my psyche has been holding out on me start to show up. I love that part.
I also love that I don’t feel stressed out around writing. The confidence is a little disconcerting because it is still newish, but because it is based on past experience I have no issue trusting in it and myself.
For the Writers Reading This
If you don’t do the work, you won’t get the experience you need to have this type of confidence. It’s okay if your work is not perfect. You’ll get better. Guaranteed.
If this speaks to you, let it sink in and take root in your creative soul…and then get to work. 😊
This morning I had the thought to start off with a little piano practice. I hadn’t thought about actively practicing in quite some time. I am fortunate, however, to have a full keyboard that I could hop over to and bang out some drills. This truly may be the new way I start my day.
My Musical Origin Story
My mom has a piano that was passed down from her father. I remember playing with it as a child and making some (probably) discordant note combinations. My mom had a collection of sheet music but I didn’t know how to read it at that time.
When I was in fourth grade my mom decided to pay for my older sister Marie to have piano lessons. I really, really, really wanted to take lessons, too, but my mom couldn’t afford to pay for both of us. She thought that if Marie learned, then she could teach me.
I was heartbroken that I would have to wait to learn but had to accept it. Not for terribly long, though. When my mom dropped Marie off for her lesson, I got to go, too. She had worked out something with the teacher for both of us to have lessons.
The Gift of a Great Teacher
Our piano teacher was an incredibly talented and patient college student who later became Miss South Carolina. I am grateful that I got to learn from her, but I wish I had had longer. When she stopped teaching (I think I was in ninth or tenth grade), she was just starting to guide us in writing our own music. I still have my manuscript notebook and some compositions and melodies I created.
Anyway, I loved playing the piano. I still love it, but the intensity was much more extreme when I was a kid and learning. I especially enjoyed playing fast songs and I essentially took over the piano. Marie learned as well, but I was on the piano daily.
I broke my left wrist in the sixth grade. Even with a cast limiting my wrist movement, I worked my way through the pain so that I could play. When I had the cast removed, I didn’t need therapy for that hand. I had already strengthened it back to normal.
Music as a Lifelong Thread
I once thought I might go to college for music. That changed somewhere in high school when I realized that I might like writing even more than piano.
I have played piano off and on over the years. I have performed for weddings, funerals, school events, church, etc. My first year of college, I played keyboard in the pit for our production of “Godspell.” Fun times.
When I moved out of my mom’s home in 1997, I found that I missed having a piano handy. I purchased my Roland ep-85 digital piano that year and started my own sheet music collection. I still have an anthology of alternative rock from that time. It’s awesome.
The Music Came With Me
When I left South Carolina in my early thirties, selling my belongings and only keeping what I could cram in my Honda Fit, my keyboard was something that I held onto. I could take apart the stand and I bought a case for it. I’ve had it all these years, diving back into playing at different times in my life.
A Return to Keys (of All Kinds)
Today seems to be the start of another cycle of getting back into it. Instead of starting the day at my computer keyboard, I made my way over to the piano, played through some drills, and then some songs I like. It was a lovely break in routine and a reminder of how much I still love music.
May we all continue to be called by our past, present, and future creative loves. 😊
I love that journal writing was strongly encouraged when I was young. I have writings all the way back to when I was in junior high.
Nowadays, it’s easier than ever to go into a digital folder and read through my past entries. I call them “morning pages” and use this journaling as a way to clear my mind before working on a project. Today, I decided to review what I was writing at this time last year as so much has changed in my life since that time.
Then and Now
One thing that stood out was that I had just finished “The Resurrection Incident,” which I would publish late in December of last year. I was already planning to work on “Sentenced” as my next project. I had pondered working on “Goddess Game” and was even thinking of publishing it under a pen name as it is for adults and not my usual young adult age range.
This is interesting because I am close to finishing “Goddess Game” right now and plan to have it in the hands of beta readers within the week. It is a nice reminder that I am able to keep producing books. I don’t live with a concern that I won’t be able to finish. That’s kinda an important part for me in starting a writing career.
My confidence comes from the fact that I do enough preliminary work on the novel that I have no fear about getting it done. The writing of it just takes time. And, sometimes new ideas grow out of the actual writing. That is what really makes it fun!
A Life Realignment
Something else that stood out in my last-year journaling was that I had an internal/external battle going on with wanting to shift my life situation and not seeing a great way to do that. It is a bit wild to me how things began to shift from November of last year to February of this year (when I gave my notice at my job with a resignation date at the beginning of April).
Things took the biggest turn when my husband came home from his morning ruck on January 1st this year and said that maybe we should move to South Carolina. This was a surprising suggestion as we had determined in the past that we would probably stay in Raleigh, North Carolina or move towards the North Carolina mountains if we wanted a change. However, once that mental adjustment was made to South Carolina, lots of things began falling into place.
I called my mom and told her our plans and asked her to be on the lookout for a house for us (we were looking online, but my mom was local and it seems like she knows everybody). Turns out that my mom’s sister was planning to sell her house – it wasn’t even on the market yet – and when we came to look at it, it was perfect. From there, my husband and I were able to make everything else work and moved down to our new home in April of this year.
From Maze to Magic
These days, I’m more grateful than ever for where I am in life. I have a graphic that I made with a completed maze that says “You know the way, enjoy the journey.” This idea occurred to me one day and I want to stay present to it. I have it sublimated on the mousepad at my computer as well.
I have a tendency to think through everything and plan it all out and make a reminder list I can check off. And that certainly has its place. I can also see that when I open up to allow things beyond my control to show up, magic occurs that is even better than I imagined.
I’m glad I had the nudge to look back at my writings. I’m glad my husband and I fearlessly (ok, maybe we were a little nervous) ventured forth down a new path because it was not apparent it was going to happen at this time last year.
It makes me wonder what is beyond other areas I feel nervous about. I am certainly curious and have my pokey stick on standby. 🙂
I had intended my novel “Goddess Game” to be released earlier this year in the fall, but I later recommitted to having it written by the end of the year. I had never assigned it a particular date up until that moment and, afterwards, getting it done became a little more real.
“Goddess Game” is a little different than my previous books in that it is written for middle-aged women – not teens or middle-graders. The idea for it got a hold on me and I really wanted to write it. I think the story is relatable and fun.
Thus, I declare my foray into chic lit! We’ll see how it goes.
Fiction Reflects Life (Or Is It the Other Way Around?)
It is interesting how often the things I am writing stories about have relevance in my life. When I was writing “Sentenced,” I felt like I was making decisions in my life that were showing up as either ticket games or talent games (i.e. money-oriented or soul-oriented if you haven’t read the story).
Now, I’m working on “Goddess Game” and seeing my own life reflected in much of what the main character, Bethany, is going through and learning. This development in my writing experience makes me a little wary of some of my upcoming book ideas. 😆
The Core Message of Goddess Game
The main theme of “Goddess Game” is that avoiding struggle may seem safe, but it leads to a life that doesn’t feel as satisfying as a life where you played fully and accepted losses and gains as both being wins. Loss is merely a lesson and that is a win because you gained knowledge and can use it going forward.
One of my favorite quotes is the last paragraph from “The Hero with a Thousand Faces” by Joseph Campbell:
“The modern hero, the modern individual who dares to heed the call and seek the mansion of that presence with whom it is our whole destiny to be atoned, cannot, indeed must not, wait for his community to cast off its slough of pride, fear, rationalized avarice, and sacrificed misunderstanding. ‘Live,’ Nietzsche says, ‘as though the day were here.’ It is not society that is to guide and save the creative hero, but precisely the reverse. And so every one of us shares the supreme ordeal – carries the cross of the redeemer – not in the bright moments of his tribe’s great victories, but in the silences of his personal despair.”
In my own life journey, I feel like I have tried to play it safe. Even with all the effort I have put in since April to create the foundation for my ideal life, I find that I hesitate in some areas that are important in truly making it all work.
Recently, I had the realization that maybe I don’t have to figure it all out myself. Perhaps it is time to partner with someone that actually knows what I would have to figure out by a lot of trial and error. So, I got that ball to rolling and everything was going really well until this past Saturday.
Cue My Dark Night of the Soul
I was sitting in the bed reading (part of my night routine) and I had this weird terror come across me. Was I taking too big of a step too soon? Should I somehow be more prepared? It was weird because even earlier that day I was confident that I would be able to meet my goals with no problem – just a little bit more focus and effort.
I was anxious enough that I decided to talk it out with my husband. I sort of hoped he would agree with me and then the pressure would be off. What happened instead was he looked at me and before I could even finish, he said. “No, you need to do this now.”
I was like, “Uh…you think so?”
And then he basically reminded me that I’ve put in the work, I’ve done my research, that I’ve reached a point in my journey where it makes sense to bring on others to help move me forward.
And then I realized what had happened and I smiled.
“Guess I’m having my dark night of the soul,” I said.
The Real Inner Villain
Really, I’ve done enough work that I did know that my inner villain was trying to win on this one. And sort of was winning. I recognized the fear as an indicator that I was about to step out of my comfort zone. That can lead to good things or not so good things and I was letting it get a grip on my mind.
Thankfully, I’m on this life journey with a pretty amazing partner.
So, am I still anxious? Yep.
Am I still going forward with my plans? Yep-yep.
Whether I win or lose, something new is available on the other side, and I’m ready to find out what it is.
